Well, today was the last day of our week away. I woke up early and went for a walk on the beach, crying all the time. We returned to our own house but it is no longer 'home' for my baby girl! I'm still close to tears; being home again just makes it all so much harder!!
Tomorrow [Monday] I return to work and WM and I begin our new 'normal' life [though he's still on holidays for two weeks so maybe it's 'not-so-normal' for now].
The day after the wedding is a blur - I was totally depressed. We drove my parents to Strathfield station, waited for the train, waved them off and I don't think I spoke more than twenty words for the rest of the day. We introverts can be pretty quiet when things get on top of us! I didn't want to do anything; no hobbies held any interest. I wandered from room to room, weeping silent tears for a little girl who had grown up and would not be coming 'home'. At midday I went to bed and slept for two and a half hours. More long, unfulfilled hours then evening came, some television viewing and finally sleep took over the tears [shed and unshed].
Monday dawned; still painful but there was a holiday to get ready for: washing [laundry] and packing to do, and the 90 minute trip east to our destination. I tried not to think or talk about DD and everything was, on the surface, fine.
A week of sun, surf and speaking about things on our minds [as well as a few SMS from a honeymooning DD until - on Tuesday - we told her to stop] brought some relief from the pain. The kind paracetamol brings: it only gives relief, it doesn't take the pain away!
Returning to an empty house is new. And painful. And brings up the tears. Becoming empty-nesters is an excruciatingly painful experience. Thank you all for your support and patience.
Time heals
ReplyDeleteOh dear, the empty nest syndrome. My mum and dad got that long before I got married, but then they entered into a new exciting phase of life with me. Sure, they didn't have me all the time, but boy it made the times I visited or they visited or we hung out or phoned so much more special. You make every day count then.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry it's so hard for you Lynne, I hope that you'll get used to your new stage of life soon.
ReplyDeleteIt will get easier with time. As Carol stated you will appreciate your time with DD. I know I appreciated my mom more after I left home!
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear you're so down Lynne. I am sure your daughter wouldn't want to know that her happy day was a trigger for depression for you. I hope you feel better soon and can, as Carol said, embark on the next phase, watching her grow into married life!
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine how hard this must be for you.
ReplyDeleteHugs xoxoxo
This is such a huge change for a parent -- I can only imagine how strange home must feel right now.
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